Lifestyles of the Prim and Inconspicuous


Posted on : 8:47 PM | By : Anonymous | In : ,

I found a camera, so to celebrate I thought I would take a few boring photos of my morning and talk about what I did today. The first project was the take some notes on sourdough since I found my sourdough crock....

Autumn made some progress on the puzzles of the day...

I am trying to organize my knitting and have most of it wound into balls and tucked into baskets, but there is still more go. I also have quite a bit of yarn scraps that are stuffed behind this basket on the floor and half under the couch and this is me hiding that...
I also made challah and here they are rising...

Then I was making the bed and thought I had better take a belly picture. My first one this time around. I am 24 weeks along...

Autumn had to do it too...

While I was meandering around the house doing this, I was thinking about things. One thing I have been hearing lately this week seems to be, 'I disagree with just about everything you say but we always love you.' Not from my own immediate family, but more so from others. I don't ever hear this on my blog, lol... mostly everyone who comments says such wonderful nice things like, 'I feel exactly the same!' and 'You have got to be the best opinionator on the internet!' lol ok so not the last one.

One of the blogs that I follow, that I also link to in my sidebar had a really great post on rationalization and how sometimes we try to get rid of our guilt about privilege by justifying it in some way. Just like her, I do this all the time. I respect her because of her efforts to help American soldiers who refuse to fight in the Iraq war and come to Canada, an issue that many people would find offensive (and many people in my own family do too). Then I read the part about her activism in helping women get second-trimester abortions and I was flabbergasted. It's a weird feeling when you agree wholeheartedly with a person about one thing and are completely at odds with them about another. People in my family must feel that way about me - I tend to be the renegade socialist Canadian who comes from a very conservative Republican home.

So by the end of her post I had so many mixed feelings... a feeling of privilege that I can stay at home and feed my family mostly organic food, a feeling of respect for a person that I totally agree with her politics, and at the end feeling very dismayed that people support second-trimester abortion. For those who don't know or don't want to know, any late abortion has to be done by scraping the baby out with a knife, using a vacuum suction, or injecting a saline solution which does burn the baby in the process. These are all given delicate names like curettage, evacuation, and induction. Honestly, if there was a simple, ethical way to stop someone from being pregnant I would support it - oh, wait there's called adoption. Sorry, there's a reason the tagline of the blog is 'Killing apathy for the fun of it.' I just think it's a little apathetic to glaze over a violent process with other terms - it's the same as calling torture 'intelligence methods' like what's been happening in Guantanamo. Call it what it is.

But, that being said, it made me realize though that privilege is it's own jaded way of viewing the world. While I heroically wield my pen (or keyboard) and tell people to support this or that and mourn the loss of people in wars and give my contributions to charity, I have no right to judge or to compare. No matter what you believe, someone is going to believe the opposite. I was reading a story to the girls the other night by Max Lucado about a parent telling a child that because God loves the child, He put the child in a safe, Christian home. The question arose in my mind... does that mean God loves Christian children more because He picked safe homes for them? It's a viewpoint that seems all warm and fuzzy and cozy, but the reality is that we are viewing the world from our luxurious first-world Westernized bubble, myself included.

God made it possible for me to be happy to be pregnant and to have the privilege of staying home with my little Autumn-Kitten and make challah. But I must remember that God also put children in bad situations that screwed them up for life and they made terrible decisions and were so out of hope that even abortion seems like a good idea. It could very well have been me instead.

In the end it just means that judgement is not the job of any human and while I have opinions, that's all they are. And if I believe something to be right, if I do nothing to actually help the situation other than to pass judgement, then I've only made it worse.

There is one thing I do know... homemade bread and sharing it can fix almost anything.

Comments (11)

Not to sound cliche to your post but, I agree with you! I'm all for people having their own opinions ... let's face it: there are too many people on this planet to expect even half of them to think the exact same way on every issue. I can't really advocate any type of abortion because my point of view is one that embraces life and health and that lot. But you make an excellent point in that there are some really shitty situations that make the alternative look like a great idea. I don't look down on people who DO advocate abortion or CHOOSE abortion for their own situation, but in my life that's just not an option. I love my daughter and I can't wait to have more beautiful babies!

I guess I started to ramble a bit, so I'll cut myself off. Just thought I'd add my two cents! And yes, baking & sharing (& sharing what you baked!) help everything!! :)

That's a new banner, isn't it? It looks great!

I like your knitting baskets - I blogged about mine recently, too! (I think they're great in the winter, so warm & cozy!)

Love the pics!

You probably read enough of my rambles to know how I feel about extreme views. I've never come across anything more opinionated than the parenting world, yikes!

Reminds me that I have a good basket I've been wondering what to do with..... yarn...

The women I helped procure second-term abortions were in desperate need. They needed to terminate a pregnancy - for myriad reasons, usually poverty - and couldn't afford it.

While they were scraping together the funds, their pregnancy was advancing - which made the procedure cost double and triple what it would have cost in the first trimester. It also meant the procedure would have been more dangerous for them, so it was even more important that they see a doctor with experience in those procedures. That meant traveling to another state, something they could not afford.

Before our organization existed, pregnant women were sleeping in bus terminals and on the streets outside of the clinic in New York City. The Haven Coalition made it possible for these low-income, marginalized women to undergo this difficult, painful procedure with a little dignity, and with a friend.

These women had little or no access to affordable birth control or any kind of family planning services. They traveled hundreds of miles by bus in all kinds of desperate circumstances to do what they felt they must.

I was helping them exercise their own rights to control their own bodies.

Also note, most of them were already mothers.

I understand you disagree with this, as many people do. But it's good to have more information before you judge.

Also, I hope my comment didn't sound shrill or harsh. I didn't mean it that way at all. You wrote a thoughtful post, and I appreciate your point of view.

I was actually drawn to working with war resisters because of my work with the Haven Coalition. I see a lot of similarities. Perhaps I will blog about that soon.


It didn't sound shrill at all... and I value a little controversy. :) What would this world be like without it?

Just found your site and enjoy the "banter"!
Yes, we all have opinions and we all are set in some of those for our own reasons and judging another is NOT what we should do...THAT is certainly Biblical !How can we learn tolerance when it is needed?
How could we see that there might be a better way than the way we are doing something, thinking the way we are?
God gave us minds to USE. to THINK with, to SHARE with others so we can accomplish everything from bringing a life into this world, putting in a garden, living simply?? SO much to explore...
On a side note: you mentioned that you were reading a story to your child and came across a statement you were bothered by. Yes, that would have bothered me to. IMHO (see, it's just my thought here :), God places some people in situations that are horrible...even little children. But it is His goal that through it all He will make Himself known and at some point that the person will realise His goodness and saving grace and accept His gift of salvation...and through this God would be glorified...which is why He put us here in the first place..."for His good pleasure".
See? This is what I believe....but I would not fault someones voice if they felt differently. As long as they can be respectful to my voice in return....when they start telling me, "No, no, no..YOU'RE WRONG!!"...Well,my mama use to say, "If you don't like what's on TV, turn the channel". Same thing with life..if you don't like it, than don't give it your time. Turn the page, get on with things.Don't listen to them, don't read it.....
My mom gave birth to me after spending nine months knowing that her husband had left her for another woman. There was two alternatives: abortion or birth...and having a baby meant living with her folks, of whom she didn't have a good relationship.
She chose to have me. It wasn't easy, we never had much money, although I didn't live without. It made me enjoy, to actually have a big desire, for a simple life. How great is that? God taught me that, even when I didn't realise He was doing that! Do yo know when I realised that?
Things weren't perfect...but I had an awareness of God and as I matured, so did that and one day I knew why He put me on this earth...for His good pleasure. I know what happens when I get out of sync with this, I flounder and feel like I'm in a twister...but then, guess who moved?
All that to say this: Stand on your convictions...but be ready to listen to someone respectfully....that doesn't mean embrace their way...but know "all things work together to them that love Him".
And I REALLY do like your site :)

Thank you Nic, I'm very glad to hear it. At the very least you've inspired a blog post for me!

Word, sister. (What a ridiculous way to comment, but I am at lack for better words). :-)

Yes. I wish our society would advance far enough to advocate for support systems to end parental poverty, to allow woman to be fully and truly woman, to receive the honour she deserves for her unique powers of birthing. It's a longer, harder fight, but we're not done yet.

My mother, a retired teacher and activist, speaks sometimes of the apathy of the pre-adult generation. These girls have somewhere picked up the idea that there's no conflict left for women's rights.

Reproductive rights is a blatant one--as in, the right to have social support and affirmation in birthing and parenting.

Love your blog, Nicole.

Thanks Cat! I hope I can teach my girls to be opinionated and passionate AND listen to other people's opinions AND fight for their rights. What a tremendously difficult job, lol.