I found a great carnival today, and I don't really participate very often in these kinds of things, but I thought this one was a good idea.
Dear Tooth Fairy
I want to apologize to you for promoting an image of you that may not be entirely accurate and/or positive. You see, when I continuously forget to put money under my child's pillow when they lose a tooth, I can't let them think that's my failing. I'm also not really very dedicated to this whole mythical character propaganda either. That is why I told my children that you are an overweight, slightly balding older man who gets his kicks by wearing a pink tutu and collecting baby teeth. I told them you are lazy and sometimes it takes a few days to get the money, and sometimes they write nasty letters to you demanding payment, which is entirely unfair.
I understand you have been around a long time, and you are part of my Anglo-Saxon culture. So I'm sorry I've pretty much killed any opportunity for you collection of baby teeth from my descendants. You have to admit though, it's a pretty weird habit.